Dear Julia, How do I not overcommit myself in college? - Avidresumebuilder18
Hi Avidresumebuilder18,
Overextending in college is a trap so many of us fall into, and from personal experience as well as feeling second-hand stress from my friends, I’ve realized how it can be a hindrance to our mental and physical health. I consider overcommitment as not just limited to academics: people often overcommit socially, forcing themselves to go out with their friends even if they need a break for fear of being left out (or as the cool kids call it, FOMO). In a study done by Avanzi et al. (2013), it was found that overcommitment in the workforce led to burnout over time, and these rates were higher for dissatisfied employees. This does not bode well for us Gen Z’ers whose careers haven’t even started.
I think that part of this tendency to overcommit stems from the fact that Gen Z runs on multitasking. In the dining halls, hands switch between keyboards and forks as students eat lunch while writing a paper. People talk to their friends in between classes while listening to music through headphones (still haven’t been able to figure that out myself), and I’m pretty proud of the fact that I can text without looking down at my phone, so that I can have an in-person conversation at the same time.
But no matter how much my thumbs get saved by autocorrect, in reality we’re horrible at multitasking. Not only are we less efficient when doing more than one thing at a time, but a study done by the University of Sussex found that multitasking using electronic devices was linked to impairments in empathy and emotional control regions in the brain. A large portion of Gen Z is just breaking out of their hometown bubbles, where instead of being set up with the kids of our parents’ friends, we now have the opportunity to make meaningful and thoughtful connections with people. But, we can’t do that if we all have deficits in our ability to express and perceive emotions.
So, what all of this tells us is to do what you love, and don’t waste time on things that don’t make you excited to learn or work, just for the sake of a resume.
Sounds great in theory, but as college and graduate school admissions continue to get more and more competitive, a lot of us have to overcommit in order to put ourselves in the best possible position to do what we love in the future. I think for most students there is a bigger need to decrease stress associated with balancing a workload, extracurriculars, and a social life, rather than having to choose between them. And I believe that the best way to achieve this is to practice saying no and to set aside time for self care.
In middle school, as an insecure tween, I naturally hated confrontation. This was a time when everyone wanted to look like everybody else, and there was nothing worse than drawing unwanted attention to yourself or doing something wrong. With this knowledge, my parents thought that this was the right stage of life to start having me order our dinners for delivery on the phone.
The first time I ordered one large pizza for me and my sister. An hour later, tugging down the bottom of my turquoise SugarLip tank top, I went to the door to get it. But the delivery guy handed me two small pizzas. And as that was not what I had ordered, I took the pizzas, signed the bill, and went inside without saying anything.
After many more failed attempts and dinner tables scattered with food that we didn’t intend to order, I got better at asking for what I want and speaking up when I don’t get it.
Being able to speak up for yourself even in the smallest, most inconsequential situations is the key to handling overcommitment in college, because it will help you practice for when saying no is necessary for your sanity and health. Sometimes, you need to be able to tell the presidents of the club you’re in that you can’t volunteer on Friday because you’ve had the most stressful week and just NEED to watch the most recent episode of the bachelor and do a facemask (not sure if this excuse will actually fly so you may need to reword it a bit).
But if reality TV and skin care are not your style (I’d be confused why, but anyway), there are so many other small and easy ways to get some much needed “me” time in a whirlwind of classes, activities, and spending time with friends. Recent research on the effects of mindfulness has showed that practicing mindfulness actually alters brain structure by weakening the connections associated with stress response and strengthening the parts of the brain responsible for decision making and attention, counteracting the effects seen through electronic multitasking. Mindfulness experts (sounds like the best job) are claiming that even 10 minutes a day of mindfulness is enough to make real changes in mental health. They were referring more specifically to meditation, but if you’re new to the whole self care thing, I understand that meditation can feel a little weird and unproductive.
So, make it your own! I believe that self care can mean a lot of different things to different people, and with a busy schedule that can be as simple as listening to music in between walks to class (without looking at your phone), reading a book for ten minutes before you go to sleep every night, or treating yourself to ice cream.
Overall, I think there needs to be less stigma around taking some time for yourself, and it took me more than a few stressful weeks to understand how important it is. There’s so much unspoken pressure to do more, but no matter how many credit hours you’re taking or activities you’re involved with, we all reach our limits eventually.
Sometimes it feels like the only thing standing between me and a mental breakdown is a nail painting session. And then if it happens eventually, at least I get to take comfort in the fact that my nails look good.
Always yours,
Julia
Advice from a Gen Z Who's Just Trying Her Best 